Celebrating Your Marriage
It’s been 47 years of marriage today and we’ve exchanged our love cards. I always get two cards because one can never say enough. My cards talk about how thankful I am for having a partner like her; for being my best friend, my one true love. I include an original love poem of some kind to get my own thoughts in there. Her cards focus on how meaningful it is that I say “I love you” everyday, they focus on the memories and milestones, the challenges and dreams, and how much we’ve shared on our journey. She shares a scripture verse to encourage but always includes the words “you’re a good man.”
When you’ve been on a shared journey over years you start to learn what is important for your partner to hear from you. Not just on special occasions when the cards are shared, but on a daily basis.
This week we are facing a huge change. We’ve been supported by our same community for over 50 years. We met at our church as mid-teens, got married there, were sent to Kenya for 18 years from there, and returned to pastor for 23 years. Now, facing retirement, we are leaving it all behind to live in another community. Change is hard, especially if you can’t focus on any form of celebration. Life can disrupt the routine but it’s important to find a way back.
For example, every birthday and anniversary we go out to The Keg for dinner. Today, things will change. My wife is out at the new place setting up our lower suite while my daughter and her husband (who will be living upstairs with their four children) are there painting. Someone has to pick up the younger girls from school in our current community while the painting goes on and someone has to stay home. That means our tradition will have to be postponed by one day. We have reservations for tomorrow.
Part of a growing and healthy relationship is finding creative ways to celebrate and then doing it on a consistent basis. Whether you go for daily walks, head out for a shared latte, explore your community hideaways, go out for a ride, a game, or a dinner, keep finding new ways to enrich each other. What would your partner love to do?
To tell you the truth, my choice would include sitting and watching a game or a movie but we have budgeted an entertainment fund for a reason and my creative juices need to make a difference in building new memories we can share. Not sure what forms of celebration you have on your calendar but do your best to get them down and stay committed to them.
Little rituals, medium rituals, and larger rituals can be part of the glue that holds your love commitment together. Stretch yourself and enjoy.
