Dealing with Limitations as Leaders
Limitations seem foundational to all created things. The seas were limited by shorelines. The fish were limited to the seas and the birds to the land and heavens. Man was limited by a single tree in the garden and by a seventh day for rest. Limits continue for us beyond that garden. We are limited by the boundaries of personhood, by bodies, by our organizational vision. We are limited in energy, in time, in gifting, in resources, and in our own mental capacity. Our responsibilities can limit us.
Peter Scazzero notes that Reinhold Niebuhr described the nature of sin as “the desire to overcome our limitations and finitude because of anxiety about our creaturely existence” (Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, p. 185).
Perhaps the greatest struggle with limits comes by those imposed by being married. In I Corinthians 7:2-5, we see the following healthy limitations. “Since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This limitation of faithful focus on one person through regular intimacy and self-control flies in the face of much modern thinking. And so, leaders stumble and fall. To consider that another person has the rights over our own bodies also flies in the face of contemporary belief and practice. We limit our ability to say ‘no’ to one and ‘yes’ to many. This limitation can have significant impact on our leadership role in a positive way as we deal with temptation and opportunity.
A few verses later in I Corinthians 7, (33-35) we read, “A married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
In recognizing limitations there is a freedom we have in also saying ‘no’ to ministry opportunities. There is no end to what is ‘out there’ for us to accomplish and while it may not be opposed to God’s will, it may undermine the very relationship we have covenanted to commit to.
Scazzero, again, says, “Too many of us fall into the sin of presumption. Presumption is a failure to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate. It also carries with it a whiff of arrogance. It’s a sin the psalmist seemed particularly sensitive to and eager to avoid: “Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression” (Psalm 19:13 ESV). Because of this I see limits as a guardrail, protecting me from straying outside of God’s will and keeping me on his path that will slowly unfold later” (p. 187).
Embracing limits is essential in developing thriving relationships that last. At the end of a year like this one, embracing our limitations can help us look back on our ministry and relationships without regrets. Finish well, start strong. Happy New Year.
