Years ago, I took my first attempt at a test to find my strengths. My top strength was that of an achiever. This was in line with my firstborn, type A personality. It didn’t take long before I had to take a second look. An achiever is one who wakes up every morning feeling like they have done nothing significant up until now but that something significant needs to be done before resting for the night. Despite numerous educational degrees, books, non-profits, and decades of leadership experience the road ahead felt empty. The drive to perform was a strength that turned into the weakness of becoming a workaholic.
While my wife was also a firstborn, type A personality with her own goals and dreams, and while we both found our place and pace in ministry, it is clear that we had to put some strong disciplines in place so that our strengths didn’t destroy our relationship.
Our strengths can become our weaknesses under certain circumstances or if they are overused or misapplied. Here are some ways in which this can happen:
1. Overconfidence: If someone is highly skilled or talented in a particular area, they may become overconfident and underestimate the challenges or risks associated with that area. This overconfidence can lead to poor decision-making and recklessness.
2. Perfectionism: Having high standards and striving for excellence can be a strength, but it can also become a weakness if taken to an extreme. Perfectionists may procrastinate, become overly critical of themselves and others, and experience burnout.
3. Stubbornness: Being persistent and determined is often seen as a strength, but when taken to the extreme, it can lead to stubbornness and an unwillingness to adapt to new information or change course when necessary.
4. Empathy and Trust: Being empathetic and trusting others are valuable qualities, but when someone is too trusting and lacks discernment, they may be taken advantage of or manipulated by others.
5. Attention to Detail: Being detail-oriented is important in many professions, but excessive focus on minutiae can lead to a lack of perspective and an inability to see the bigger picture.
6. Leadership: Strong leadership skills can be an asset, but if a leader becomes too controlling or domineering, it can stifle creativity and collaboration within a team.
7. Creativity and Innovation: A highly creative person may struggle with structure and discipline, making it challenging to implement their ideas effectively.
8. Competitive Nature: A competitive spirit can drive individuals to excel, but it can also lead to unethical behavior or unhealthy rivalry.
9. Analytical Thinking: Analytical thinkers are good at breaking down complex problems, but they may struggle with making quick decisions or adapting to rapidly changing situations.
10. Self-reliance: Independence and self-reliance can be strengths, but taken to the extreme, they may lead to isolation and difficulty seeking help or collaboration when needed.
11. Charisma: Charismatic individuals can inspire and lead, but if they rely too much on their charm, they may neglect important substance and strategic thinking.
There’s no question I used my strengths to accomplish a lot during my years in leadership and I am still using them to do more. There comes a time when balance has to be found if a marriage is to thrive. It's important to recognize that the line between strength and weakness can be subjective and context-dependent. What is considered a strength in one situation may be a weakness in another. The key is to be self-aware, adapt to different circumstances, and strike a balance that allows your strengths to shine while mitigating their potential downsides.
