Leading At Home
Too many of us have heard the stories of great leaders who stand up before the applause of the multitudes, only to fail at home. Through the years, the understanding of leadership has changed drastically in the social, political and business spheres. Perhaps, it is taking longer to change at home.
Scholars have identified decade-long trends that came and went in the past century. At least, outside the home.
In the 1920s, leadership meant impressing your will on others to bring about obedience, respect, loyalty, and cooperation. Some spouses still act as if this is the style to enact behind closed doors.
In the 1930s, leadership became a process where one chief organized others to move in a specific direction for the good of the whole. This model still disavows the sense of partnership required in thriving marriages.
In the 1940s, leadership was identified as the result of someone who persuaded others apart from the issue of outside prestige or power. The focus on individual ability is still the emphasis.
In the 1950s, leadership is attributed to the authority that a group gives to the one in place over them. There is some sense here where some recognize and defer to another.
In the 1960s, leadership shifts to a focus on the actions of an individual which influences others in a shared direction. Perhaps we are noting an accompanying change in the marriage relationship as well.
In the 1970s, leadership becomes defined as discretionary influence on personal behaviors for the benefit of others on an individual basis. The recognition of individual value is rising for the non-leader and the responsibility of the leader to serve is also coming to the for.
In the 1980s, leadership becomes the act of inspiring others to do some purposeful action as determined by the leader. A spouse is recognized as one who has valuable input on the whole.
In the 1990’s, leadership continues to focus on the influence that flow between a leader and his followers to effect change toward a mutual purpose. An increasing invitation to give and receive influence starts to evolve toward a common future.
In the 2000s, leadership is influence between collaborators who want real change that reflects real purposes based on real goals. The growth of partnership is being realized.
The fluctuation of leadership in ministry has been shadowed at a slower pace by the understanding of leadership in the home. Over the past 25 years, a more collaborative form of mutual influence has developed with equal input of formulating goals, dreams, and desires, toward a common embraced future.
Some couples have been ahead of the shadow’s curve and some have lagged behind. With men and women sharing roles in ministry, in the workplace, or in the home, the need for clear communication, affirmation, respect, and understanding, continues to grow.
If leadership is a collaborative influence, how does this affect traditional views of marriage roles and responsibilities? How are you seeing models of ministry impacting models of marriage? As expectations and opportunities change outside the home will it continue to have increasing pressures and challenges within the home? What might we expect as the new generations step into accepting their place in the Great Covenant and the Great Commission under the Great Commandment?
