Make the Most of Your Summer Holidays
Traveling together can bring out the best and worst in our relationships. That’s why it’s important to do more of it. Healthy couples grow stronger through the realities of having to work out situations together. Research from travel associations shows that couples who holiday together report more satisfaction in their relationship than those who don’t. Not only will you build new memories to cherish together, you will have the chance to cement a stronger bond.
Not everything you experience will be reflected in the smiling photos you post on Instagram or Facebook. You’ll experience emotions that need to be talked through and worked out. The discomfort of being in unfamiliar situations and places with unfamiliar people may bring out an edginess that focuses on a need your partner can address. A level of anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and insecurity may help partners express a dependency that will draw both closer.
The value of holidays is that you have the rare commodity of time to deal with what is happening between you under the surface. Of course, if you’re stuck on a tour group schedule, this may be another test that you need to manage. A healthy couple learns how to be safe with expressing deeper thoughts, opinions, and feelings. If nothing else, you’ll learn where your relationship needs growth or support. Having to make decisions about where to eat, where to go, when to rest, when to share intimacy, can stretch you if you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, and isolated. Unspoken expectations will create a tension all its own.
Knowing your partner’s triggers and stress points is important in working through any conflicts that arise. Perhaps there is a fear of flying, an anxiety about managing in a country with an unknown language, a discomfort about engaging in intimate expression with family members around. These things should be talked through before departure.
Travel is also a good time to understand the different expectations your partner and you may have for this upcoming experience. Mismatched expectations can stimulate tension and conflict. Disappointments are inevitable if there hasn’t been clear discussion ahead of time. No one enjoys feeling rushed, pressured, or overwhelmed by situations they aren’t comfortable in. Frequent check-ins are a must so that communication is shared and understood.
Sharing decision-making before the trip, or during the trip, needs to be considered if you aren’t on a scheduled tour. When both partners take ownership in the journey or adventure then it becomes part of your shared pleasure or pain. Giving each other space when needed, or intimacy when needed, is an important part of the bonding available during holidays.
Work out what you can together and don’t be afraid to call on a relationship coach if something surfaces during your holidays. We’re working to build strength for the long haul and holidays are part of the chance to embrace both our strengths and our growth areas. If you haven’t booked your next holiday yet, pull out your calendars and start dreaming.
